Lost

Alone again in my room,
stewing in my sorrow and gloom,
I get a buzz but it never lasts,
the happiness is gone so fast,
from the pills i take each day,
i may as well throw them away.
and though i`m looking for something more,
I can never find what i`m looking for.
all i want is just to hide,
from the sorrow deep inside,
but i find comfort in my blood,
makers me forget what i`m running from,
yet still the tears will always flow,
and the gloom will never go.
Here istand with this knife,
O lord please just end my life...